"Do not stand at my grave and weep ..."

For the first Christmas my family celebrated, after the death of my husband, I made photo albums for each of his sisters, his mom, our two children (one of them yet to be born), and a close friend.

These I filled with every picture I had of him and a typed copy of Frye's poem:  "Do not stand at my grave and weep ...".

Some of them cried to receive it, some thanked me, some quietly closed the book and changed the subject.  But I know they all appreciated it. 

Especially when you consider that they all lived so close that not one of them took pictures of him on a regular basis.  Why would they?  He was right there.

~~~

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the softly falling snow,

I am the gentle showers of rain,

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,

I am in the graceful rush

Of beautiful birds in circling flight

I am in the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room,

I am in the birds that sing,

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there, I do not die.

~Mary E. Frye (1932)

Words of Inspiration

When my husband died I received countless cards from friends and loved ones, and some from family I barely knew -- or friends of his that I'd never met.  I didn't want to throw them all away, but quite frankly they were a little sad and somewhat creepy to keep around.

So I found a pretty blank journal, glued a picture of my husband to the inside cover, wrote the words:  In loving memory -- Robert Joseph Gomes-Pereira, August 17, 2000, and then copied out my favorite greeting card poetry and/or comments that were written within the cards into my new journal.

That way I had one place to look through for inspiration and love whenever I needed it and I didn't have hundreds of loose cards lying around.

Character Sketch

It was requested that I write a character sketch of Rob, as you would for a fictional piece, so that people reading about my grief could better see him in the essay.

I've been thinking of this for a few days. I am reluctant to begin, to construct him on the page, because I am afraid that I won't remember him enough to draw that picture.